About babies - Parent Easy Guide
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Parenting SA
Having a baby changes your life. There is a new little person to get to know, love and care for. New parents can have a range of strong feelings including some they were not expecting. The most important thing is to believe in yourself and enjoy this special time with your baby. Most parents learn about babies and work things out as they go along. The information in this Guide is aimed at the first 3 months of your baby’s life.
Note: The term ‘Parents’ in this Guide refers to anyone caring for and/or raising children and young people. For example, parents, caregivers, step- parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, guardians, foster or kinship carers.
Baby's feelings and brain
In the first months of life your baby is in a completely new world. They need to learn the world is safe and there are people who will look after them. They learn this when you are warm, loving, kind and gentle and provide the comfort, cuddles and food they need. They learn to love and trust you and that they are lovable.
Your baby’s brain is growing faster now than at any other time of life. Billions of cells are expanding, connecting and building pathways to thousands of others. Their ‘brain wiring’ is being laid down for the future. What they experience every day causes connections and pathways to develop.
- When babies feel loved, safe and secure the connections for feeling good and learning are strengthened.
- When you talk to your baby, smile and look into their eyes the connections for talking, learning, thinking and all the other things they will need are strengthened too.
- When babies are not responded to warmly or not touched, noticed or talked to, connections in the brain that react to stress are strengthened. Your baby may not grow, learn or develop as well.
Did you know that babies…
- love it when you smile, talk and play with them
- communicate from birth using their own special signals
- learn from what they feel, see and hear every day
- grow and learn best when they feel loved, safe and secure.
Baby's relationships
Babies grow and develop best when they have someone they are very close to in the first year. This is called ‘attachment’ or ‘bonding’. Attachment develops when you respond to baby warmly, smile and talk to them and provide what they need.
- Loving early relationships help babies learn how to respond and what to expect in future relationships. They provide the building blocks for learning and developing self-confidence, emotional control and the skills to get along with others. This is why these early relationships are so important.
- Having other people like grandparents or other carers respond warmly and kindly to babies helps them learn to know and trust them and makes them feel safe.
Babies who have loving early relationships are better able to grow and learn and cope with stress as they grow up.
Baby's signals
Babies communicate in their own special way from birth. They give little signals and cries to show their feelings and needs. These can be quite small and babies are not always easy to understand.
- When babies feel good they may make eye contact or little noises, smile, copy your movements, look relaxed and interested.
- When they need a break they may look away, shut their eyes, struggle, pull away, yawn, look tense, become unsettled or cry.
When you respond to baby’s signals you are building your bond with them. It lets them know they have been heard and is the start of two-way communication and learning to talk.
Why babies cry
Crying is normal. It's the main way babies communicate their needs. They might:
- need a feed or nappy change
- need a cuddle or to be close with you
- be frightened, bored or lonely
- be too hot or cold
- be unwell or in pain such as a tummy ache or earache.
Responding to babies
It is important to respond promptly and warmly when your baby is upset. This helps them:
- learn to feel safe and secure and to trust you
- relax and learn the world is a safe place
- settle better and cry less in the long run. When you soothe babies they get better at soothing themselves.
You cannot ‘spoil’ a baby by responding to them when they cry. They need your loving attention to help them feel safe and secure.
You may have to try a few things until you work out what your baby likes. You could try:
- holding them close – try upright against your shoulder
- using a gentle, reassuring voice such as, ‘sh, sh, sh’
- rocking them in your arms
- taking them for a walk in their pram
- soothing sounds such as soft music or a ticking clock
- offering a dummy — it’s best to wait until breastfeeding is well-established.
If you have any concerns you could phone the Parent Helpline on 1300 364 100, or see your doctor or the Child and Family Health Service . Phone 1300 733 606 for an appointment.
As you get to know your baby you will learn what helps them and what doesn’t.
What babies can do
Right from the start most babies can:
- suck to feed
- feel, see, hear, taste and smell
- move their arms and legs, but not yet control their movements
- detect and react to the tone of your voice and the gentleness of your touch.
Seeing
Most babies can see quite well, especially things that are close.
- They can see your face and will soon recognise you.
- Things that are further away will be blurry as distance vision takes time to develop.
In the first few weeks a baby’s eyes often cross or wander in different directions. By 3 months their eyes should ‘line up’ so they both look at the same object. If you are concerned talk with your doctor or child health nurse.
Hearing
- Most babies have been hearing since well before birth. They may recognise their mother’s or other people’s voices.
- Baby’s hearing will usually be checked at the hospital soon after birth. Talk with your doctor or child health nurse if you are not sure whether this has been done.
Your baby will be calmed by soft noises and startled by sudden, loud noises.
Smell and taste
- Babies can tell different tastes such as salty, sweet, sour and bitter; they can react to unpleasant tastes such as some medicines.
Reflexes
Most of a newborn’s movements are random and they are not able to control them at first. They have a number of movements that happen automatically. These include:
- the startle reflex – baby’s arms stretch out, their back arches and head goes back
- the grasp reflex – baby grips things put onto the palm of their hand, such as your finger
- the rooting reflex – baby turns towards and sucks on something that touches their face
- the sucking reflex – baby will automatically suck on things put into their mouth. Babies need to suck to survive and many find it soothing
- the tongue thrust reflex – baby pushes the tongue forward when something is put in their mouth. This helps with feeding.
These reflexes will reduce over the next few months as your baby develops.
Babies are sensitive to touch and can feel pain. Gentle caring touch and being held when they are distressed tells babies they are loved and cared for and not alone.
Development in the first 3 months
All babies are different but usually follow a similar pattern of development. Your baby might:
Babies are growing and developing from the day they are born. Talking, touching and playing with your baby helps you bond and is good for their development. There are many things you can do to help your baby develop.
Developmental milestones are things most babies can do by a certain age. There is a lot of information in your ‘Blue Book’ (My health and development record) which is given to South Australian parents when babies are born.
Each baby is different, even in the same family. Your baby may do things faster, slower or differently from others and this is usually OK. If your baby is doing things much more slowly or not doing some things at all it is important to talk to your doctor or child health nurse. They can reassure you if all is well or get any help your child needs.
More on development from Parent Easy Guide ‘Milestones for young babies’.
What parents can do to help babies develop
When you spend time with your baby, looking into their eyes, talking, playing and giving them things to look at and touch you are helping them learn and develop.
It is important to think of your baby as a unique individual with their own likes and dislikes, and to be warm and responsive. You will soon discover what your baby enjoys. Giving them lots of chances to be curious and explore provides the building blocks for learning and making the most of the school years.
Enjoy spending time with baby when they are awake — they love your company. Playing is how they learn.
- Talk gently with baby from birth. They will notice the tone of your voice.
- They won’t understand your words at first. That’s OK. Hearing the sounds and words helps language develop. They gradually learn that sounds make words and words have meaning.
- Tell baby what you are doing and name things they are looking at.
- Say what will happen next, for example that you’re going to change their nappy, feed them or put them to bed. They learn what to expect and you are helping them feel safe and secure. Use the same words every time, like: ‘I’m going to pick you up now’ or ‘Here we go’. Don’t just pick them up without warning.
- Listen to baby’s little noises and copy them back — this is the start of learning to talk.
- Sing songs or say rhymes. You could gently rock them in your arms.
- Play little mimicking games. When baby pokes out their tongue you could do it back. Leave plenty of time for them to take their turn.
- Offer a variety of things to look at and touch. Give them things they can hold or shake, hit or push to make a noise.
- Limit screen time. Babies don’t need screens for entertainment. For children under 2 years it's good to limit screen use to video calls with family and friends.
- Take them for a walk outside. They will enjoy looking at things such as leaves or grass moving in the breeze.
- Share books from birth for a few minutes each day. It is never too soon. Looking at bright pictures and hearing your voice can be a special time of closeness and feeling safe. They gradually learn sounds and words and what they mean. They see books, reading and stories as enjoyable.
- Give baby ‘tummy time’. It is important for babies to have a few minutes on their tummy each day. This helps them develop muscles for head control and crawling. Never leave them alone on their tummy.
Watch for signals your baby has had enough – don’t overwhelm them. Too much activity when they don’t want it is as unhelpful as too little. Don’t play rough games such as throwing baby up in the air, lifting or pulling them by an arm – this can harm babies.
Sleep
Sleep is one of the common concerns for parents. The safest way for your baby to sleep is on their back with face and head uncovered. Place your baby at the bottom of their cot either wrapped or in a sleeping bag. If you’re using bedding make sure it’s lightweight, firmly tucked in and only pulled up to their chest. It can also help to know that:
- each baby’s sleep is different even in the same family, and sleep needs change quickly
- in the first weeks babies sleep much of the day and night. Most wake every 2 or 3 hours needing a feed and attention. They can sleep 12 to 19 hours a day
- by 3 months many babies are awake longer during the day and sleep longer at night. Most still need 1 or 2 night feeds
- when a baby sleeps about 5 hours straight this is considered ‘sleeping through the night’.
The safest place for a baby to sleep is in their own safe sleep space. This is why bringing them into bed with you, called co-sleeping, is not recommended. If you do co-sleep it’s important to know how to minimise the risks.
More safe sleeping information from the Red Nose website.
More on your baby’s sleep from the Parent Easy Guide ‘Sleep in the first year’.
Keeping baby safe
- Cars: Put baby in a rear-facing baby capsule and the correct restraints as they grow. Never leave a baby alone in a car. It is against the law to smoke or vape in a car with children under 16 years.
- Falls: Never leave baby alone on change tables or other surfaces — they can easily fall. Keep one hand on them when changing.
- Drowning: Children can easily drown in small amounts of water. Never leave baby alone in the bath. Keep them away from pools, ponds, dams, troughs and bowls of water such as those left out for pets.
- Pets: Never leave babies and pets alone together. Put up barriers if you need to.
- Home: Check your house and yard for safety. Keep babies away from power points, curtain cords, choking hazards, things that could fall on them and poisons such as medicines, cigarettes, cleaning or garden products.
- Noise: Protect baby from becoming frightened. Don’t yell, play loud music near them or make sudden, loud noises.
Never shake a baby. This can cause brain damage and some children die. If you feel upset or angry take a break until you calm down. Make sure baby is safe first.
Your feelings matter
When you are a mum or dad it is normal to have lots of different feelings or to feel overwhelmed at times. It can help to:
- talk to other parents, family, friends, your doctor, child health nurse or other health professional
- find out about babies so you know what to expect
- take time to enjoy special moments with your baby
- make time to spend with your partner or do other special things you enjoy
- notice and feel proud of what you achieve each day - even small things.
If you often feel upset or worried talk with your doctor, nurse or one of the helplines listed on this website.
Getting support
All mums and dads need help at times. Don’t be afraid to ask trusted family or friends to lend a hand — even washing the dishes can help.
You are welcome to take your baby to the Child and Family Health Service. This is free. The nurses can answer your questions and support you with parenting. It can be useful to take your ‘Blue Book’ (My health and development record) with you. Phone 1300 733 606 for an appointment.
This is a good time to join a parent group or baby play group — sharing ideas with other new mums and dads can be a great help. Baby will love it too!
More information
See parent information and support.
Related parent easy guides
Last published: 08 Jan 2025 3:03pm
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